My Heart's Mirage

Told myself that I wasn't gonna cry

A lie I told myself, yet again

For even when I shut my eyes so tight

I can feel the tears seeping through

The echoes of your last words still ringing fresh in my heart 

So far from the sweetness of your promises which now appears as a distant memory

A love song turned so sour, it irks the drums in my ears

The rhythm of your once soothing footsteps towards me now sound like a raging storm 

Now I sit lost in the crowd of my raging thoughts, nothing close to the calmness you used to bring so naturally 

Arms locked with you used to be my adrenaline, like insulin pins, my ginger to conquer life battles and challenges

Now; as little as us locking eyes is us tearing each other apart with silence so loud, I dare not think or imagine it if the tongue makes words of them 

Zeus, Poseidon, Artemis; which of them gods stands for love? I am desperate here

I need a touch, a miracle, anything

Can they swing their magic wand? 

Just this once, for me?

I need to find my path, again, by your side

The journey is still so far, our forever has barely even begun 

The roads will only get scarier, I know

I can feel the omen in the air

I can smell the odds stacking up

For without you

It is a lost cause

Can you find your why for being with me again?

Can you identify the yes moment for me again?

Will your mind and feet ever lead you to our happy place? And your mind beating to our song, even if it's for a moment?

Or

Will my hope drain with each passing day

Fading into the night

Lost in the dark hours

Regardless of whatever

One thing is certain;

I fell in love with the love you shared with me, I now realise it wasn't much 

It lasted so long yet so short

But it was real for me

A solace I hold until I don't know no more, and my hands and mind fail in its grip

If you ever attempt to love again

Don't come close to me

There's nothing new I can give

You had it

You have it, that version of my love

I'm light years from there now

So long my once forever idea

For that was what I was, to you

Just an idea of love that ended in my heart shared into a million broken pieces.

©The Jaliab Network