Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Ripples Beyond My Heart - Part 1

 




It can’t be, it shouldn’t be, this can’t be happening to me “, what can’t be?, asked Ibrahim as he turned around with a sharp stare while still holding the handle of the door.

He continued with his curious stern gaze at me as I sat on the leather couch some few yards away, with the photo album on my laps, I was lost in my own thoughts and didn’t know I had spoken those words out, so loudly, that he could hear and make him pause and turn around to look at me.

With my heart beating so fast, my hands were visibly shaking and I could feel drops of sweat break out from my forehead, even though the tastefully furnished Asokoro mansion living room was fully air-conditioned, but I became so hot.

“I said what can’t is happening babe? Because if you think our plans to Netflix and chill won’t happen tonight, then you must be joking, our order has arrived and I have the movies you requested for all on queue, so don’t be a Friday night spoiler for me abeg he retorted.”

I, I, I mean, the.... “why are you stammering all of a sudden? A whole P.A, are you okay? You look like you have just seen a ghost !”

Just as he wanted to leave the door and come over to where I was, the door bell rang again, obviously the delivery guy was beginning to run out of patience and decided to make it obvious with the way he was hitting the bell at the gate.

At that moment, his attention shifted away from me temporarily to the person outside, and as he engaged with him, I flipped more pages of the album and the more pages and pictures I saw, I got more convinced that the person there was my loving husband of 8 years!

I was caught in-between wishing and praying for this to be a guy with an uncanny resemblance, after all they say we all have a body double, but even I wasn’t convinced with that thought, or that the world should just rewind to 6 months ago when I first met Ibrahim at the restaurant.

I had just dropped off my two kids at my mums who wanted them over for the weekend. You know how grandparents can be, spoiling and dotting over them like they were going out of extinction and at age 80, she feared she didn’t have much time to spare especially given her recent poor health record. It wasn’t holidays yet but she insisted, so I packed clothings for 3 days for Stephanie 7 years and Steve 5 years, and from picking them after closing, we headed straight to Garki my family home.

She was already waiting at the gate and so I didn’t even bother stepping out of the car, the trio waved excitedly as I zoomed off. I had plenty paper work to tidy up for my politician boss who was coming in that weekend from the UK, so I decided to just buy lunch from an eatery before delving straight into work.

As I waited on the waitress to get my order, he walked pass me to the table behind, the first thing that drew my attention was his perfume, it was exactly what my husband wears all the time – CARLTON London.

Even though I was flipping through Instagram but the scent took over the entire ambience and instantly brought back memories of Jeff my husband.

Because of the nature of his job in London, his phones were always off till 8pm Nigerian time, he says it’s company policy and since I haven’t been to the UK, I totally believed him. I don’t call, he does, when it is “safe” to call. I can send messages like I just did now, telling him I smelt his perfume on another guy, but it won’t deliver till 8pm(on second thought, I deleted the chats cos it won’t make sense anymore when he finally sees it).

My bank accounts were not starving and I was living the life from his weekly deposits, he said this was gonna be his last year in the abroad, he was tired and wanted to come back home finally (he’s been saying that for the past 3 years).

To be continued...

©The Jaliab Network 


Tuesday, June 18, 2024

My Heart's Mirage



Told myself that I wasn't gonna cry

A lie I told myself, yet again

For even when I shut my eyes so tight

I can feel the tears seeping through

The echoes of your last words still ringing fresh in my heart 

So far from the sweetness of your promises which now appears as a distant memory

A love song turned so sour, it irks the drums in my ears

The rhythm of your once soothing footsteps towards me now sound like a raging storm 

Now I sit lost in the crowd of my raging thoughts, nothing close to the calmness you used to bring so naturally 

Arms locked with you used to be my adrenaline, like insulin pins, my ginger to conquer life battles and challenges

Now; as little as us locking eyes is us tearing each other apart with silence so loud, I dare not think or imagine it if the tongue makes words of them 

Zeus, Poseidon, Artemis; which of them gods stands for love? I am desperate here

I need a touch, a miracle, anything

Can they swing their magic wand? 

Just this once, for me?

I need to find my path, again, by your side

The journey is still so far, our forever has barely even begun 

The roads will only get scarier, I know

I can feel the omen in the air

I can smell the odds stacking up

For without you

It is a lost cause

Can you find your why for being with me again?

Can you identify the yes moment for me again?

Will your mind and feet ever lead you to our happy place? And your mind beating to our song, even if it's for a moment?

Or

Will my hope drain with each passing day

Fading into the night

Lost in the dark hours

Regardless of whatever

One thing is certain;

I fell in love with the love you shared with me, I now realise it wasn't much 

It lasted so long yet so short

But it was real for me

A solace I hold until I don't know no more, and my hands and mind fail in its grip

If you ever attempt to love again

Don't come close to me

There's nothing new I can give

You had it

You have it, that version of my love

I'm light years from there now

So long my once forever idea

For that was what I was, to you

Just an idea of love that ended in my heart shared into a million broken pieces.


©The Jaliab Network 

Ripples Beyond My Heart - Part 1

  “ It can’t be, it shouldn’t be, this can’t be happening to me “, what can’t be?, asked Ibrahim as he turned around with a sharp stare whi...