Beyond The Storms

Five years after we got married our son finally came,the pains of waiting for that long instantly vanished when I saw the Doctor hold him up,still covered with tiny drops of blood and wriggling his tiny feets. I was too excited at the sight I didn't notice the fact that he didn't cry as expected of a new infant. Exhausted from the 3 hour labour process I fell asleep almost immediately. Hours later I woke up in the private ward and there he was,perfectly wrapped fast asleep on the bed just beside me. He looked every inch a perfect baby coming in at 3.6kg and did I forget to mention he had Debo's eyes? The resemblance was striking even at a distance. Our lives changed with this perfect gift from God and we were more than ready to face the responsibility of raising our son Ayomide Adeniyi-Jones. Weeks quickly turned into months right before our eyes and I began to notice some "delays" in his development. Physically he was alright,he's appetite was good too but he was slow in movements and coordination. And just like every Y2K complaint mum I started researching the internet on what to expect from a baby of his age and I realised he didn't quite tick all the boxes. "Every child has he's own time table o,don't compare him with others". My Ghanaian neighbour trying to offer some words of encouragement after I opened up to her concerning my worries. I just had to speak to someone because Debo would not hear any of it "nothing is wrong with my son! Its not in our family lineage to be sick like this". Those were his words the last time I tried talking to him about it. But I was scared and confused,scared for my son!. When alone with him,I would stare at him for long periods,not in admiration but curiosity,trying to see if there were improvements in his cordination and speech but nothing happened. "who did I offend,who has done this evil against my grandson? Lets go and see my Pastor,he's very powerful and anointed". My mother Inlaw will cry and cry untill finally Debo agreed for us to go for a deliverance session. I went through all sorts of prayers and fasting,from,dry to white,sowing seeds in cash and in kind yet nothing happened. When it was time for him to start school,it was hell!. No school would accept him,one of the proprietress openly told me that she didn't want other parents to withdraw their children from her school due to the presence of "your son" around their kids. I couldn't believe she was referring to my son as a plague that needed to be avoided. My heart broke into a thousand pieces,I was the subject of discussion every where I went,even in the church!. "The woman with the boy who has refused to talk or is it that he cant talk? He must be possessed!" Whispers everywhere behind my back. Emotionally I was drained but I didn't want my son to see me cry. After one of such fruitless days searching for a school for him,I got back home and Debos call came in "Honey,there is an,Indian woman who has accepted to take him,he starts on Monday". I couldn't wait for the weekend to roll by for him to start. It was a huge relief for the whole family. This would finally help him to improve. Two weeks passed and I wanted to know the progress report from the Indian angel who has come to salvage my sons destiny. " I don't know what to do with him,am a teacher not a psychiatrist". Her words hit me like a sledge hammer,at that point I felt like giving up on my son. Why did God curse me like this instead of blessing me even though I waited for five whole years!. Maybe I should drop him off at the orphanage home or should I just pray he dies in he's sleep?that will save the family from this shame. Morbid thoughts filled my mind as I drove back home that day. Dinner was more of a ritual ir routine that needed to be done that night as the report from school hovered over everyone. Before we slept that night,Debo uncharacteristically asked us to pray holding hands,and while I slept,I had a dream of me and Ayo singing and dancing in church. Upon waking up,I had a new desire in me to know God for who he is and not just as a father Xmas figure we go to for presents alone and in my own case-a miracle. That turn of event and change in focus helped me to find peace within me and hence love my son Ayo even more. I realised he wasn't an error but a different breed that sees the world from a different perspective. And so he was not incapable but needed a different support system to learn. There was a paradigm shift in my view from him being sick or having a disease to him being just different. And while we were all thinking that he was ignoring us and the whole world,he was actually waiting for us to enter into his world!. I finally got to know about Autism and the brilliant work that had been carried out on the topic. With each passing day,I got more confident and proud of my son. I wasn't ashamed to take him anywhere I went,even to church. Few months later,we travelled to London to have my second baby. He wasn't allowed into the theatre like Debo and so when Atinuke Abeni-Jones came,he wasn't there. I was so eager for him to see his sister and so I requested he'd be allowed in. That was the day he spoke for the first time ,walking towards the bed where I layed and Debo holding her carefully wrapped in his arms he asked " Is she my sister?". My world practically froze,the joy was too much to bear ,it was as if I just gave birth to two kids at the same time!. Today on his 18th birthday,I had to scold him to keep quiet cos he talks too much, " just cut the cake and let the party begin for heavens sake". Hoe quickly we forget the pains of yesterday....


Inspired by Nneka Anyachebelu