A Piece Of Me

  “ It can’t be, it shouldn’t be, this can’t be happening to me “, what can’t be?, asked Ibrahim as he turned around with a sharp stare while still holding the handle of the door. He continued with his curious stern gaze at me as I sat on the leather couch some few yards away, with the photo album on my laps, I was lost in my own thoughts and didn’t know I had spoken those words out, so loudly, that he could hear and make him pause and turn around to look at me. With my heart beating so fast, my hands were visibly shaking and I could feel drops of sweat break out from my forehead, even though the tastefully furnished Asokoro mansion living room was fully air-conditioned, but I became so hot. “I said what can’t is happening babe? Because if you think our plans to Netflix and chill won’t happen tonight, then you must be joking, our order has arrived and I have the movies you requested for all on queue, so don’t be a Friday night spoiler for me abeg he retorted.” I, I, I mean, th...

Told myself that I wasn't gonna cry A lie I told myself, yet again For even when I shut my eyes so tight I can feel the tears seeping through The echoes of your last words still ringing fresh in my heart  So far from the sweetness of your promises which now appears as a distant memory A love song turned so sour, it irks the drums in my ears The rhythm of your once soothing footsteps towards me now sound like a raging storm  Now I sit lost in the crowd of my raging thoughts, nothing close to the calmness you used to bring so naturally  Arms locked with you used to be my adrenaline, like insulin pins, my ginger to conquer life battles and challenges Now; as little as us locking eyes is us tearing each other apart with silence so loud, I dare not think or imagine it if the tongue makes words of them  Zeus, Poseidon, Artemis; which of them gods stands for love? I am desperate here I need a touch, a miracle, anything Can they swing their magic wand?  Just this once,...

By the time my step mother came back, I was totally unconscious. I spent the next 2 months in the hospital treating not just my tears but terrible STD infections, he was sexually active, a part of his life nobody else knew about. I missed my exams; I missed a whole year to say the least. I was confirmed pregnant and my father refused me getting an abortion. Francis absconded without a trace. The police in Aba put out a search warrant on him but it did not yield any results. I left Aba and came down to Lagos to meet my father. I went back to school but this time around was allowed to be in Arts. My grandmother took care of Samuel for me while I started building the blocks of my life back. I got into LASU to study Law and was done 2 years ago. I served in Kano State but refused to stay over in the north because of my son. I wanted to be a part of his upbringing too and be able to explain why he does not have a daddy in his life just like other kids in school. I started working in a law f...

I wasn’t doing too well in school, well, the truth is, I never liked sciences but my parents wanted me to be a medical doctor hence I had to take science subjects which were not really my forte. My dream has always been to wear the wig as a lawyer and appear in court to defend people and cases, all that dream has long disappeared. It has been 3 years of struggle since I started my senior secondary education in Owerri. If only my mother hadn’t died from that breast cancer that tragically took her life, I would have still remained in Aba with her, but now am in Owerri with my step-mother who does not really believe children have a say in what to do with their lives.  I cant say she disliked me but giving me an opportunity to chose, the same way my mother would have allowed me was a far distant cry. So I ended being a good and obedient daughter and followed her wishes. But my grades were not encouraging, not at all. As the final exams approached, she decided to get me a private lesson...

  The Beauty Of An Incomplete Picture! So I have a brother Joel Alasan  who is a fantastic artist and I sometimes have the privilege to catch him just when he’s about to start a painting, most times my curiosity leads me to ask questions of what he wants to do and I realize no matter how hard he tries, I don’t really get the full picture of what he wants to do.  I just see sketches and lines and and and you know what I mean right? But he on the other hand knows what exactly he wants to bring out and even though it doesn’t look like it at first, he stays there for hours, days even months till that perfect resemblance of what he has internally becomes manifested on paper, on canvass or whatever medium he chose for it. Then, we all can come back and say “what a master piece this is” Point is, he didn’t give up on what he saw until it became what he has produced, in-between that period is a process that involves time, skill, patience and faith that it can be done! Joseph had ...

We used to free, playing on the streets,kicking empty cans all the way to school and back. We were free to visit the stream,coming back home with eyes so red you can’t deny where you’ve been ( you really didn’t need to anyway) We used to be free to eat,drink in the neighbours friends house coming back home with big round tommies and shirts stained with oil due to the struggle for meat. It was actually allowed to remove our sandals and walk bare feet, swinging them in rhythm of songs learnt from the village square last night. Parents yes, but the society was the standard model and watch dog. Kids getting spanked by total strangers when due and still complimented for not sparing the rod when the news filtered back home. Teachers were idolized as mini gods due to the importance society placed on them- a noble profession with “rewards in heaven”. Life for us as kids was super fun. We built castles with mud,using our legs as designs. Creativity and natural instincts buzzing in our heads. Th...

“Its either you are the new Virgin Mary or you lied abou t your virginity status in your form, because your pregnancy test result is here and it shows you are seven (7) weeks pregnant!. So which is it? Be rest assured that even your fathers status as Senior Pastor cannot make this panel bend the rules for you. Am afraid but you will have to call off the wedding”. Those words from the church marriage committee this morning is still echoing in my ears long after I left their presence. Hours later, as I sat on the hotel couch, throw-pillow half soaked with hot tears in my hand, looking hopelessly at the mirror trying to see what part of my life I could salvage from the destructive chain of events that had quickly kicked in since my meeting with the panel ended and I walked shamefully out of the church premises hurriedly into the waiting Uber taxi. “Back to Wuse II where I picked you or to another location? Ma? The very kind driver obviously noticed there was something wrong with me. I was...

  When life rhythms doesn't actually sound no more like duduke When you hate the sight of sunrise because you gave up already on the day unfolding since last night when you soaked your pillows drenched When the cover of darkness is the safest place you felt at peace; far from all preying eyes, probing questions at every turn all fuelled not by care or compassion but to confirm and satisfy their thirst for stories of your failure When your silent outer self is an exact opposite of the raging war happening in the inside, yet wrapped around a smile as you trod past memories of sweet before all but gone in the fleeting moments When conversations became sour, chaotic and a battle of who is wrong or right, all aimed to massage a battered ego bruised and scared from previous encounters on the alter of moral justification fanned   When the voices, the only voices that you hear, that sound like songs and meaningful to you only lead to a place of darkness with no light in sight Whe...

  How did we get here? That the cries of the innocent no longer irks our soul? Tell me how the blood stains on our land, flowing freely, is no longer seen as a proof of carnage? While those alive mourn those dead in fear, the killers jubilate so loudly, we can hear them sing from afar. Their rythmic dance steps insult the memories of their victims for free. Oh my land, my home! Can I still call you so? All I see now when I remember home is a slaughter field, where my ancestry is being eroded, violated, destroyed by people I once called brothers and fellow men. How different are they from me? I see none, our skin tone shows we are supposed to be united as a common front against those who come from beyond the big wide sea to tap and mine the blessings of the creator hidden deep underneath our huts, just for you and I but alas today, they sit back and watch, without having to lift a finger, we turn and strike deep into the heart and bellies of ourselves Wives left with no husband's, m...

Echoing in my ears, Voices too loud, it took out the harmony therein Years gone by, a trust built over time From my nascent tiny steps, and now am fully grown All that now a distant cry, shattered & lost! The beautiful pages on which the future: my future was supposed to be written Now turn and stained with the guilt of a predator and my innocence up in the air like puff from a cigar Washed away in an instant like sand on the sea shore that melts like wax Success brought me to him like waves hitting the sea bed; he had a constant supply of it, of us yearly Nature, unintentionally crafted me, a piece on the menu that can’t be resisted. And while to the society he appeared like an angel with feathers so decorated with degrees, inside was a monster, a lost soul with a thirst, only for my innocence. A two faced being, left to roam freely. To some they were prey to satisfy his urges while others were friends. The truth of which side you belo...

I was me, wondering around in my own world, I was far away, echoes faded out just as quickly, With nothing out of the extra ordinary, Was I contended? I cannot really remember. I was a combination of more good than bad, In the midst of my dark world yet inside of me was an untapped gold mine. Blessed with so much resources that I didn’t know half of it yet  but they did! Music to my ears was the sounds of waterfalls: racing torrents of rivers, nature dancing continually in perfect rhythm just like hymns. Meeting at the confluence but then the delta and the ocean calleth! The sight of sand dunes of the sahara flirting with the sunset at dawn made the eyes teary. The lush green vegetation of the sahel rolling over each other, a constant reminder of how perfect my rofia mat (if laid) can be- tranquil. Animals big and small, a source of company and food as we all shared this very beautiful space I found myself in. Oh it was beautiful indeed... The Baobab showed...

Have you ever seen a man paddling a canoe on a lake or across any body of water? If you have, then one thing you will notice is the fact that they paddle on both sides of the canoe and not one no matter how calm the water is. Why? A canoe being paddled on just one side never goes forward rather bends into a curve! In life, just like the man in the canoe, we need to find a balance in all we do. Be it academics, career, business or even relationships because if you paddle on one side alone then you should be ready to go round in circles and not forward! It is a very simple rule but  sadly only a few have mastered the art. And so you see people extremely successful in one area and a total failure in another, it is all about balance.. You get to the peak of your career, but you do not have any friend who can call you by your name or tell you point blank when you are wrong because everyone around you is within the working circle. You disconnected with your friends a long time ag...

“ Bros, your phone don dey ring since o, I say make I kuku ma com give you since the battery don full. As a regular customer now, you no go vex if I comot your fone make I allow other pepu charge na, you know say the country hard, man pikin need all the change wey e fit pakage o”.. Guy take your time o, if my fone no full enh, I dey bring am back o, I no fit shout. That 50 card yu dey collect no be beans o. but who you say been dey call me? Any name show? Abi na just those fake MTN spam callers wey no dey allow pesin rest, na so so subscribe subscribe be dia own everi day, weda da person don chop sef nothing concern dem,na just to chop your credit be dia plan. Yeye scam pepu. “ I no get time look who dey call as I been dey barb customer dat time, as da thin com dey too plenty na em I say make I com give you. Hope say I no disturb your sleep sha? Not at all, as work no dey today make I take time rest body for house today. I cant come and die for this own o. monkey no ...

Silence Silence has two faces Pretty and ugly Life and death sometimes While it helps you to step away from the chaos around, it can also disconnect you from the reality of being you. Silence In it we can draw strength to overcome life challenges or sadly loose the will to continue fighting for what we truly desire. Silence It can be so soothing and peaceful, same way it can be so loud when it has defeat of self esteem, pride, ego and confusion written all over it; unfortunately, the society is too busy to read the handwriting no matter how clear it is written. Silence From it, ideas that shaped humanity were birthed and still are, sadly humanity has lost many from decisions taken at this season’s of silence. Silence So powerful, it can shut the whole world out in one blink and yet so weak to be able to reach out back to it sometimes. Silence Dreadful as it may sound, still every soul needs a visit to this powerful part of our mind...

It was magical, All the excitement that had filled my system since he proposed, Butterflies flying around my tummy. The silent giggles whenever his thoughts or face flashed through my mind And then the D-day came, Obviously the event planners knew their onions, The arrangement and planning was on point, Family, guests, all had a nice time. Did I forget to mention the honeymoon? Far away in Hawaii. I dreamt of it as far back as secondary school, I flooded the internet and social media with different pictures and video of how it all went down. Hmmm! It was all I could ever ask for, a perfect union made in heaven or so it seemed, at that point. Boom! Reality check, Fast forward to present day. That was four years ago, It’s some few minutes past eight and he is not yet home. The last time I checked,closing hour was still 5pm. Normally,20 minutes tops after closing he's home. My last redial just ended, the eleventh ring out. Few minutes...

We used to free, playing on the streets,kicking empty cans all the way to school and back. We were free to visit the stream,coming back home with eyes so red you can’t deny where you’ve been ( you really didn’t need to anyway) We used to be free to eat,drink in the neighbours friends house coming back home with big round tommies and shirts stained with oil due to the struggle for meat. It was actually allowed to remove our sandals and walk bare feet, swinging them in rythims of songs learnt from the village square last night. Parents yes, but the society was the standard model and watch dog. Kids getting spanked by total strangers when due and still complimented for not sparing the rod when the news filtered back home. Teachers were idolised as mini gods due to the importance society placed on them- a noble profession with “rewards in heaven”. Life for us as kids was super fun. We built castles with mud,using our legs as designs. Creativity and natural instincts buzzing in our he...

What happened?  How did we end up on this side of the lane? And yet I didn’t notice – till now when we crossed! The sparks we saw in each others eyes  became so faint and yet it seemed so bright when you blinked. The chemistry long gone and yet I felt our relationship was scientific (all figured out ). Even when the “hellos” became so far in between I still didn’t  feel alone!. How come silence became the language we spoke so loudly? No wonder the simplest of discussions ended in chaos, while I remember vividly when we could go on for hours without noticing we’ve talked all night. Those thoughts are a far cry to what we have become today – sadly so. It’s so easy for us now to spend time with outsiders and on social media with virtual friends than ourselves. A song writer was sang “ if I can turn back the hands of time”, my prayers and wishes right now. Am desperate! I don’t think it was ever a question of love; I had that in excess for you but it turn...